Thursday, June 17, 2004

10 Things On My Not To Do List

Everyone has a "To Do" list. Not me, I believe in the Not To Do List. As long as I can cross these babies off at the end of the day, I've found that my day was a relatively successful one.

Not To Do Today

1. Wake up fussin, yellin and cussin. Drip, drip, drippin and pus, pus, pussin;

2. And for that matter - Look in the mirror and say "Mama mia, I'ma kill that bitch the next time I see her." (Thank you Kool Moe Dee).

3. Sit in a jail cell lamenting the fact that she didn't look like a cop.

4. See either one of my sons skipping through the house whistling show tunes.

5. Hear my name uttered in the same sentence as "Sexually Transmitted Disease."

6. Speak these words to a woman: "Really, this has never happened to me before."

7. Hear my best friend say to me as he's running out of my bedroom, "Honestly, it's not what it looks like."

8. Find out the specific details of how I was conceived.

9. Have one of my kids say to me, "Dad, have you seen my science project? I left it on the shelf in the fridge next to the pudding." As I'm halfway done eating a bowl of what I thought was tapioca.

10. Come home to find the following things are missing: my golf clubs, duct tape, vaseline and the cats.

tooooo funny!!!
i have two boys myself and i have the same fears going through my head when certain items are missing...
What do golf clubs, duct tape, vaseline and the cats have in common? You got me worryin here....
I hope never to find out the answer to that question.
Come on, Im sure a woman could do something to you that would make you say "Gee this has never happened to me before!"
Great blog you have! I really enjoyed it. I heard of a great site that is giving away a free set of Nike Golf Clubs. I think your readers will enjoy it. Just click the link below and enter your Zip Code to see if you qualify!
Free Nike Golf Clubs!
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