Thursday, August 18, 2005

Sean John Name Change

See, my way of thinking of Mr. Combs is easier. I've just always called him "No Talent Ass Clown."


Diddy Drops the P.

R. Kelly must be ecstatic right now.

"It's the era of Diddy."

I'll be more interested when he becomes Dead-y.

So proclaimed the hip-hop impresario formerly known as Sean Combs, Puffy, Puff Daddy and now P. Diddy on Tuesday's Today Show, as he explained that he was changing his name once again.

Next up "The Diddler - Jus' Keepin' It Rizzeal"

The rap mogul last switched it up--from Puff Daddy to P. Diddy--in 2001, while seeking a "fresh start" after being acquitted on gun charges.

Must have been how he got off in the first place. I know I was successfully confused. Reasonable doubt really isn't all that hard to establish.

As for what brought about the latest change in moniker, the entertainer admitted that his previous name change left his fans uncertain of how to address him. "I felt like the 'P' was getting between me and my fans and now we're closer," Diddy said.

Insert golden shower joke here

"During concerts, half the crowd is saying 'P. Diddy'--half the crowd is chanting 'Diddy'--now everybody can just chant 'Diddy.' "

What are the odds J-Lo will come out and say his name should be "Little Diddy?"

He confessed that his unwieldy name was even starting to befuddle him. "I even started to get confused myself--and when I'd called someone on the telephone it took me a long time to explain who I was. Too long," Diddy told the New York Post. "One word. Five letters. Period," he added.

Sucks - one word. Five letters. Period. Sums up his music.

Of course, just talking about his new name isn't enough for the scene-making mogul, who's planning to throw his latest title a coming-out party of sorts when he hosts the MTV Video Music Awards on Aug. 28. "To be honest, the unveiling of Diddy, you gonna see that at the [Video Music Awards]," he told MTV News. "You gonna see that in the entrance. You gonna see that swagger. You gonna see how I'm gonna navigate you through the journey. I'm gonna play my position, my role. The artists are gonna play their role. We're gonna have an incredible, incredible party."

Someone please tell Diddy, or whatever the hell his name is today, that Ebonics is so 1995.

As usual, it's been a busy year for Diddy. In April, he announced a deal with Warner Music that gave the company a 50 percent interest in his Bad Boy Records label. Though exact figures were not released, it's estimated that Warner shelled out a cool $30 million in the deal.

Meanwhile, the multi-monikered one has also been dealing with various legal issues.

Last month, he settled a lawsuit with Random House over a $300,000 advance he received to pen his memoirs, which he never completed.

Diddy has also been battling his ex, Misa Hylton-Brim, over child support payments for their 11-year-old son, Justin.

After he was ordered by a judge in April to dole out more than $21,000 a month for the care of his son, the rap mogul vowed to appeal the ruling, claiming that Hylton-Brim was acting out of greed, rather than in the interest of their child.

Read about his legal troubles again. He made $30 million by selling 50% of his Bad Boy Record label and ONLY has to shell out $21k a month for child support? And he's bitching about that? What the hell? Sean Combs, Puffy, Puff Daddy, P. Diddy, Diddy, dickhead, asswipe, whatever, pay your child support.

And the next time you change your name, please think up a better excuse. This way the rest of us won't think you're a total imbecile.

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