The World According to JP

Yes, the last couple days have sucked in JP's world. So, in an order to make myself laugh I will post another 10 of my favorite comments from The Family Guy, aka the funniest show of all time.


10. (Walt Disney drawing Minnie Mouse and gives her a dirty look)
Minnie Mouse: Do I--do I have to?
(starts pulling dress off)
Walt Disney: You wanna be a star, don't you baby?!
Minnie Mouse: (Whimpers and dress falls to the floor.)
Walt Disney: Yeah, that's it! (Draws.)

9. Peter: You know that whole Vietnam thing? Never happened.
Brian: Oh yeah, but don't mention it around the Veterans Hospital. Those guys are really committed to the lie.

8. Counselor: I'd like to put video cameras in every room of your house so that I can observe your uncensored behavior.
Peter: Wow, just like that show Big Brother ... except somebody'll be watching.

7. Tom Tucker: Stay tuned for our special investigative report on the clitoris, "Nature's Rubik's Cube".

6. Miss Ironbox: The filing is done Mr. Griffin.
Peter: Thank you Miss Ironbox. You are a valued
member of our business team and I will give you a
raise tomorrow if you come to work without a shirt on.
Miss Ironbox: Mr. Griffin!
Peter: I'm sor...I'm sorry, that came out wrong.
Lemme' try again. Nice ass.

5. Peter: It doesn't matter if your family doesn't think I'm good enough for you.
Lois: That's right, because all that's important is that I love you.
Peter: No, because your ancestors were nothing but a bunch of pimps and whores.

4. Stewie: Duck, duck, (slaps Janet on the head) GOOSE!
Janet cries.
Stewie: Oh come on I barely hit you! See this is why people don't respect the WNBA!

3. Cleveland: If you're this desperate about Chris's weight, why don't you just suck the fat out?
Peter: Look, if you can find a hole on the boy that you want to put your lips on, be my guest.

2. Peter: Lois, I cant find my favorite pair of underwear.
Lois: Which one? The one where you ripped hole in it from when you got stuck in that airplane bathroom from when you got the trots?
Peter: No, I'm looking for the pair from when I had to hold it in because it was that extra long Palm Sunday service and I thought blowing gas would offend God so I let it rip in the vestibule after service.
Lois: Top drawer.

1. Brian: Oh my god! They're eating Asian reporter Tricia Takanawa!
Peter: That's crazy...they'll just be hungry again in an hour.

Have a great weekend, everyone!!
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