Monday, May 16, 2005

Monday Morning Quickie

Hopefully, this will be as good for you as it is for me. And if not, I don't care. I got mine. Get yours.

I totally wouldn't be surprised if sometime in the near future we all found out that Starbucks laces their drinks with crack. Actually, it would explain a lot; like my 3:00 everyday habit and the urge I have to whore myself out in order to afford it.

You know you need to get laid when you walk by the Victoria's Secret store and say out loud to nobody in particular, "Wow, those manniquins are HOT!" It's amazing how quickly people around you disburse.

You know you're getting old when you're walking around the mall and see a mother-daughter tandem shopping and think to yourself, "Oooh, mommy's sexy as hell...and she puts out!" and never give the daughter a second glance.

I've been studying people for almost 15 years now, just observing them, and I've come to the conclusion that there is no way to look cool when you're smoking a cigarette. None at all.

I hope you all had a great weekend and have a great week as well.

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