Friday, December 10, 2004

What Makes Someone Gay?

I was having a discussion with a conservative person yesterday about the art of being gay. Of course, being a conservative, he tried to espouse all of his beliefs on how being gay is wrong and anyone who is gay is definitely headed due south when they die. No question in his mind. Knowing this person drinks like a fish and likes to grope women other than his wife, I commented “Oh, so maybe you guys will be roomies down there, huh?” He begged to differ, telling me that all of his transgressions are absolved as soon as he goes to confession. Great. Not only a conservative, but a Catholic as well. You could see what I was up against.

What makes someone gay? Are people predisposed genetically? Is it a decision you make? Is it Spiderman?

This dude is convinced it’s a choice. He told me that every gay person sits down and says to themselves, “I’m going to live a gay lifestyle.” He then added, “they chose their path, let them lie in the bed they made for themselves.” I have not the words to describe what I was thinking at that time. He then made some inane comment about the Bible condemning all ‘sinners’ to Hell. Ok, so that means that we’ll all be nice and cozy downstairs when the time comes. I’ll bring the ice. I’m sure the porn and alcohol are already there in abundance. I brought up the fact the Bible also says something like, “Judge not lest ye be judged.” He had no reply for this. After I figured out that this dude was going to bask in his ignorance until the day he died, I ended the conversation by agreeing to disagree with him. Ignorance is bliss.

I guess I just have a little experience with this issue because my brother is gay. He was in a heterosexual marriage when he "came out of the closet," so to speak. He stood there, in my living room, and told me that he and his wife were having problems. The problems were caused by the fact he was gay. Yes, I suppose that being married to a female but attracted to guys (or vice versa) would fuck up a relationship beyond repair.

So, while he was telling me, he was shaking, afraid that I wouldn't let him see my boys, his nephews, anymore. My response? "Why wouldn't I? It doesn't rub off and it's not contagious, right?" We all had a laugh, but seriously, you either are gay or you're not. There is no ambiguity here. I knew he was gay when we were teenagers. Musta been the gay porn I found in his room when he was 16. Did I agree with it? Not necessarily. However the bottom line is this - life's too fucking short to get caught up trying to impose your views on other people. What's right for you isn't necessarily right for them. And that's ok. Every single person has a right to live their life and be happy. If swordfighting with another dude or bumping donuts with another chiquita makes you happy, then who the hell am I to say you can't? Live and let live, right? What happens in your bedroom doesn’t affect what happens in mine.

I’ve even heard some of the “moral majority” try to make the argument that once you allow gay marriage, then who’s to say that someone couldn’t marry their horse or their 12 year old niece? Ok, those of you that think that, please seek immediate professional help. Or at least learn to compare apples to apples. What two consenting HUMAN ADULTS choose to do with each other, provided it’s legal, shouldn’t be any of your concern.

In other words, live and let live. Clean up your own backyard before you bitch about your neighbor’s. And to the dolt I spoke with yesterday, because I know you’re reading this (yeah, right), you may want to try to figure out which part of being gay intrigues you and makes you hate yourself. Try to find out if it’s the giving head part or the getting pounded in the ass part. Also, try to figure out whether you’d be the quarterback, tight end or wide receiver. After that, everything will become more clear for you.

However, if it’s neither genetic predisposition or a choice and it IS Spiderman, I’m in trouble because I fucking love that web slinging bastard.

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