Thursday, September 09, 2004

An Axe To Grind

RIDGEFIELD, WASH. - A Ridgefield, Washington, man faces assault charges after trying to circumcise his eight-year-old son with a kitchen knife.

The boy had to get several stitches, after his father called 911 because the child was bleeding so much.

Thirty-three-year-old Edwin Baxter appeared in Clark County Court yesterday. Baxter could get ten years in prison.

Baxter says he was inspired to do the circumcision after reading the Bible.

Baxter lives with his wife and nine children in a two bedroom rental home. Baxter was once convicted of domestic violence in 1993.

I’m having trouble comprehending this news story. Seriously, I need help here.
What the fuck?! Dude wanted to perform a circumcision on his son with a kitchen knife after reading the Bible? Wow. After reading this news story, I want to perform a vasectomy on this son of a bitch with a dull axe.

Then there's the fact that this chromosome deficient motherfucker is 33, has 9 kids and lives in a 2 bedroom rental house. How do 11 people live in a fucking 2 bedroom house?

I wonder where the other kids were when this was going on. I mean, the 8 year old has to be one of the oldest he has, if he's 33. Maybe they were still trying to untangle themselves from the previous night's sleep.

What about the mom, you ask? Well, my guess is that the domestic violence conviction in 1993 has something to do with it. Call me crazy.

Seriously, 10 years is not enough. If we were talking 10 years, a total dick removal and him having to give his 8 year old son every cent of his income from now until the end of time, which should buy him a dinner at Subway, then we'd have a good place to start.

I'm telling you, licenses to have a kid. Would weed all the dumbasses out. Why has nobody thought of this? Seriously, let's line up all these dumbass trailer trash fucks and get the job done - just post a sign saying "Free Booze Giveaway Today" and you're bound to attract all of em and then some.

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