Wednesday, September 15, 2004
And The Bunghole Of The Week Award Goes To...
Frank Francisco, Pitcher, Texas Rangers
Mr. Francisco hurled a chair into the stands in Oakland on Monday night breaking a woman's nose and cutting up her face. I guess his wittle ego couldn’t take a few mean words from some drunken fans. There are reports that nobody cussed at this dolt. Nobody spit on him or threw things either. Hell, he wasn’t even the one being heckled when he flipped out.
When asked to comment on the subject, he said, "No puede," which means "I can’t" in Spanish. I fucking looooove when people use their ‘selective language’ abilities. He must be able to understand and speak English because he wouldn’t have gotten upset at the heckling (that wasn’t directed at him), so he can’t fucking say "I can’t" in English when asked for a comment? Dickhead.
His manager, Buck Showalter, is standing behind his actions by spouting off that "[we] told Oakland officials that we need more security down near our bullpen area and they did nothing about it." Oakland officials say they never received a request. Regardless, there is NO excuse for throwing a chair into the crowd. Ever. What if it would have hit a little kid or a baby? If it would have hit me or MY kid, I’d fucking own the Texas Rangers when all was said and done. They’d have to change the name of The Ballpark at Arlington to JP’s Big Ol’ Fuckin’ Baseball Yard.
Texas is also saying stuff like "something needs to be done about unruly fans. They think that they can come out to the park and say whatever they want with no repercussions." Is the beef getting to their brains? Did the steer in Texas contract mad cow disease or something? I got news for the Rangers’ organization, the fans pay your players' fucking salaries. They’ve earned the right to heckle. Try teaching your players to act PROFESSIONALLY and let it roll off their backs. If they’re physically attacked, that’s a different story, but verbally? Puhleeze. These guys are making MILLIONS to play a GAME. If it were me, talk all the shit you want. Go ahead, I dare you to try to upset me. I’ll just take comfort in the fact that when the game has ended, you’re going home to your double-wide to bang your triple-wide while I’m going home to my mansion in the suburbs to bang my golddigging hottie model girlfriend that can suck a golf ball through a garden hose.
Senor Francisco, I hope you’re suspended for the rest of this year and all of next year without pay. Go back to the Dominican Republic and get a job making 35 cents a week sewing shit together for Nike and then see if your little tryout for the WWE on Monday night was worth it.
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Mr. Francisco hurled a chair into the stands in Oakland on Monday night breaking a woman's nose and cutting up her face. I guess his wittle ego couldn’t take a few mean words from some drunken fans. There are reports that nobody cussed at this dolt. Nobody spit on him or threw things either. Hell, he wasn’t even the one being heckled when he flipped out.
When asked to comment on the subject, he said, "No puede," which means "I can’t" in Spanish. I fucking looooove when people use their ‘selective language’ abilities. He must be able to understand and speak English because he wouldn’t have gotten upset at the heckling (that wasn’t directed at him), so he can’t fucking say "I can’t" in English when asked for a comment? Dickhead.
His manager, Buck Showalter, is standing behind his actions by spouting off that "[we] told Oakland officials that we need more security down near our bullpen area and they did nothing about it." Oakland officials say they never received a request. Regardless, there is NO excuse for throwing a chair into the crowd. Ever. What if it would have hit a little kid or a baby? If it would have hit me or MY kid, I’d fucking own the Texas Rangers when all was said and done. They’d have to change the name of The Ballpark at Arlington to JP’s Big Ol’ Fuckin’ Baseball Yard.
Texas is also saying stuff like "something needs to be done about unruly fans. They think that they can come out to the park and say whatever they want with no repercussions." Is the beef getting to their brains? Did the steer in Texas contract mad cow disease or something? I got news for the Rangers’ organization, the fans pay your players' fucking salaries. They’ve earned the right to heckle. Try teaching your players to act PROFESSIONALLY and let it roll off their backs. If they’re physically attacked, that’s a different story, but verbally? Puhleeze. These guys are making MILLIONS to play a GAME. If it were me, talk all the shit you want. Go ahead, I dare you to try to upset me. I’ll just take comfort in the fact that when the game has ended, you’re going home to your double-wide to bang your triple-wide while I’m going home to my mansion in the suburbs to bang my golddigging hottie model girlfriend that can suck a golf ball through a garden hose.
Senor Francisco, I hope you’re suspended for the rest of this year and all of next year without pay. Go back to the Dominican Republic and get a job making 35 cents a week sewing shit together for Nike and then see if your little tryout for the WWE on Monday night was worth it.
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